


Each time and forever

by florescentia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Post-Season/Series 03, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 00:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8123443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florescentia/pseuds/florescentia
Summary: He followed him down to Earth and he follows him to the cave and all the way to Polis, because Bryan will unquestioningly follow Miller wherever he leads him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A companion fic to [in each of the places we meet, in all of the lives we are](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7897021), but is written as a standalone.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta [Kay](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksforthecrumb)!

I

He followed him down to Earth and he follows him to the cave and all the way to Polis, because Bryan will unquestioningly follow Miller wherever he leads him.

 

II

“We’ll see each other again,” he had told him matter-of-factly in their last goodbye. _In another life, if not this one_ remained unspoken.

 

III

Miller wants to talk it out and he does too, but his heart is too heavy to hold and the memories still pierce him like bullets. He tries to get the words past his lips, but they get stuck in his throat. He doesn’t find the strength to tear at the wounds that only just started healing.

They still don’t talk about the details of  Mount Weather or the Ice Nation. Both of them know that the other one couldn’t bear to hear the truth.

 

IV

“I did promise you we’d see each other again, didn’t I?” Miller said lightly, months later, when Bryan’s arms were finally tangled around his shoulders. Bryan buried his face into his neck and only clung to him tighter. He didn’t want to let go.

 

V

 _I’ll always choose you. I’ll only ever choose you, no matter the consequences, no matter the cost_ , he wants to tell him. _Even if it pinned us on the opposite sides. Even if it meant you hating me for the rest of your life._

There’s not a world he can imagine himself living in where he’s not beside him, but if there is only one thing Bryan has ever wanted, it’s for Miller to be okay. Even if it’s not with him.

 

VI

There’s an ounce of selfishness in sacrificing yourself—in not being the one to suffer the consequences of it or having to pick up the pieces you broke; it dawns on him as they wait in the basement for Clarke’s signal.

Sometimes you fade out long before your final breath. Sometimes your heart stops at the same time as another’s, only in a different way. Sometimes by saving them, you’re only shattering them beyond repair. He sees Octavia and understands.

Sometimes you have to remember that protecting the ones you love means protecting yourself too.

 

VII

There’s a glint of apprehensiveness in Miller’s look that he cannot hide and Bryan’s chest tightens painfully every time he catches it.  He doesn’t know how to assure him that his allegiance lies only with him, so he keeps silent. Perhaps it’s his own cross to carry.  

-

As they stumble to their bed, he holds onto him like Miller might be gone in the morning. He feels like there is some aura of finality in the kisses they share and the way that Miller follows the curve of his lips with his fingertips. His heart tightens. He tames his demons and hushes his fears by grasping Miller’s hips and tracing his mouth across the hollow of his back.  

If heaven is anything tangible, it's in their kisses. It's their entwined limbs that fit together so neatly and the way Miller seethingly gasps his name.

 

VIII    

They abandoned their innocence somewhere along the path between the constellations in the sky and the cusp of the mountains under them. There's blood on their hands and regret in their throats. Their edges have dissolved and sharpened like a double-edged sword, but he still knows all the crooked and hidden corners of Miller’s mind. No person will know him better than he does. No person will love him the same way that he does.

 

IX

Nothing changes for a while, but nothing ever changed in the first place. He still touches him the same way, he still smiles at the sight of him, they still fall asleep the same way they did before. The normality helps him convince himself that everything is somehow still alright.

He tries to avoid staring into Miller’s eyes. He doesn’t want to watch the bridges they’re burning.

 

X

Millers quietly slips under the duvet one night and wraps himself around him. Bryan slows down his breathing, pretending to be asleep, but Miller knows him and he knows the pattern of his breathing.

 _I love you_ , he whispers the words against his skin, and it’s something they’ve said to each other a million times before, but there is something different about this time. There is something about the simple touch on the valley of his shoulder blades, there are unspoken words behind the delicate embrace, hanging in the air.

It’s in the stillness they share and the feelings that pervade that they find themselves again.

Covers are wrapped tightly around them and Bryan never wants to leave.

 

XI

“Are we gonna be fine?” Bryan manages to utter one night before they fall to sleep. There’s fire in Miller’s eyes and an affectionate smile on his lips before he gently tugs him into his arms.

 _We are already more than fine_ , he says, the weight of the words palpable. Bryan knows it’s the truth.

 

 

* * *

 

*

He takes Bryan to a place where the sky almost touches the water and the birdsong echoes through the air.

 _I wanna build a house here_ , he tells him. Painted in the gold of the sunrise, Bryan’s warm smile makes his heart swell with love.

The light splatters across the surface as the dawn breaks through the gloom and Miller wants to spend the day here beside him and he wants to spend the rest of his life here, beside him.

-

His knuckles are bruised and his bones are aching, but he’s found a place to rest his hands.

 _No back is sturdier than mine and yours_ , he points out as he grazes Bryan’s cheek with his fingers.

They’re sitting on the porch of their small house, the falling leaves fluttering down all around them.

They finally tell each other everything.


End file.
